Inspired By Love

Why I'm Attracted To Ambitious Man

Guy: “Are you back in South Africa?”

Me: “Yes, and its freezing”

Guy: “When are you coming back for me?”

Me: “For you? I’m lost why do I need to come back for you?”

Guy: “Because I love you.”

Me: “Dude, why would you want a woman to come back for you?”

Guy: “I need you to be right by my side and I have a feeling you qualify for us to be great together.”

Me: “I’m sorry that will not happen, I’m not going to come back for you or any man for that matter.”

THAT was a WhatsApp conversation I had with a guy I met while I was travelling around East Africa. Guys, really, come on!!

You can just guess what was going through my mind. My first thoughts were “is this guy for real, in what world does he live in?!” What kind of a man would want a woman to fly across continents for him? What happened to a guy going after the girl he wants?!


Now, in my books, nothing is sexier than a man who has ambition. I’m not sure what it is about it that attracts me but I just find it to be the ultimate attribute to look for in a man.  Maybe it’s a combination of passion, desire, determination, and drive that excites me to a very high level.

Constantly, I find myself looking for a partner who is eager to not only set a dream for himself, but does everything in his power to achieve that goal. That is extremely attractive to me. A man who never settles in life; a man with a drive and will to grow and prosper.

But I’m not surprised as these are the kind of messages I usually get from LDS guys asking me on dates. No prejudice here. But fortunately, I don’t just settle for someone to date because he’s a member of the church I go to, a Christian or a good guy. I’m looking for someone who wants to continually work hard and thrive and never let a woman take care of him. I’m looking for someone who is just as ambitious, if not more so than I am. One who will support, challenge, and push me just as much as I do them because a man with goals and a passion to achieve them is beyond alluring.


Don’t get me wrong, when I talk about ambition I’m not talking about you having Mark Zuckerberg wallet. I’m talking about the drive. Women are mostly attracted to what they think you will become.

Ambition has always been a good trait for a man to have, but in the 21st century it’s pretty much an essential one if you have any hopes of having real choice and quality in your dating life. Like at my age, I can’t be dating a guy who is comfortable with a woman taking care of him. When you are under 22 we give you a pass, life is one big party – and chances are your ambition won’t even matter to girls that age. Your age group doesn’t care; they just want to go to parties, hook up, and “live life.” It’s only after they turn 27 years that things begin to change.

I might not as successful as Marie Forleo or Khanyi Dhlomo – not yet, at least. But I have rock solid confidence that I will be. My ambition fuels me. I cannot ignore it – even if it leaves for a few hours on days when I’m on my periods, it always comes back with a powerful force.

For me, being better, achieving more is a way of life.

And every other guy that has fallen for me –  has fallen for that more than anything else. Because passion and ambition in any person is intoxicating; a lethal combination.