Inspired By Love

My Dating Life Is Lit; What's My Secret


My dating life has gone from 0 dates in January to 3 to 4 dates a week. And for the life of me, I could never understand what was actually happening. Then just last week at dinner, the topic about what about me attracted my date came up. I was blown away by his response, mostly because it had nothing to do with what I’ve always perceived as beautiful. 

You see, for many years the definition of being attractive to me meant getting a manicure, using make-up, or buying expensive clothing—just to name some a few of the things as women we do pursuit of beauty. 

And I know personal grooming is also a very important way a woman can best express herself and feel good as she walks into a room or down the streets of Bali. But I found that there are core things that have actually transformed my dating life. Below are two most important qualities that seem to be the driving force behind my lit dating life.



The number one thing that was the biggest turn-on for him as he puts it, is my level of self confidence. Apparently I have an inner radiance and a level of fearlessness that is very attractive. I acknowledge my fears, and know how to prioritize my needs, which I've come to learn makes me noticeable.

Being independent

A woman who is independent is breathtakingly attractive to a man. 

The fact that I’ve taken charge of my life and know my worth. And most importantly, I’m at at a level of comfort with myself that has allowed me to exude a certain aura that commands admiration and respect, and men find these qualities utterly attractive.

A woman who is actively pursuing her dreams and goals and has a passion and zest for life is irresistible to men. You become fully alive when you take pride in what you do and this excitement is infectious. In a study done by University of Texas psychologist, David Buss, it showed that “when men ranked traits that were important in a marital partner, there had been a striking rise in the importance they gave to women’s earnings,” which falls in line with a driven spirit. 

When you focus on your goals, ventures, and aspirations, it opens the door to success, and men admire this purposeful quality.

So, as I go prepare for my date tonight, I just want to say I've learned that being confident is the key to a bliss dating life. Don't be afraid to be you! I'm super different from a lot of my friends with style and personality, and I'm OK with it. And if you are OK with it, everyone else will be, too.

Just be yourself.