A Response to "How I Understand Submission"
Thanks for clicking to read this post! As you can see, this article is a response. I'm responding to a video that Gladys posted on our YouTube channel titled How I Understand Submission. So, the reason she started on the topic is because Inspired By Love is all about inspiring you to live your best life, and also cultivate beautiful relationships. By that we don't only mean romantic relationships, but even relationships with family, friends etc. So, watching my dear friends video, I felt inspired to add onto it, especially with regards to feminism and submission. In the video, Gladys mentions feminism about two times. The first time she mentions that she hopes that she is not trolled by feminists haha, and the second time she says:
"In the age of feminism, most of us women do not know our role. We want to play the role of King and be like the man, do what the man does."
I will say that I am a feminist, and when I have said that, especially to men, it appears that they have a very different understanding of feminism to my own view of it. It is becoming more and more apparent to me that there are varying degrees or perceptions of feminism - the most common one being that feminists want to be men. I am not of that school of thought. I enjoy being a feminine woman, and I know that there is power in that. I also do not think that submission is against feminism at all, depending on the degree of submission or how it's done. I believe that feminism is about giving woman equal human rights and options in life. The perfect definition of feminism for me is encapsulated in Chimamanda Ngozi's speech, We Should All Be Feminists, which is:
"Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes."
Submission does not necessarily mean that one is not equal or a feminist. I think that when neither submission or feminism is on the extreme end, they can actually work hand-in-hand. How? Let me explain by sharing an example about this lady I knew from church:
This lady, let's call her Janet, is a housewife/businesswoman meaning that she does not need to work but she chooses to run her own small businesses from home. Her husband has always provided for her and their kids, and boy do they have a beautiful home and lifestyle. She is living her dream, and she got there because she studied psychology, and observed her parents relationship. She learnt how many men's minds are wired. She understood that generally, men interpret respect as love, and that submission is a form of respecting a man as the leader in a home. She also understood that men who feel that they are respected, are inspired to assume their other manly role which is to be a provider. So, she made use of this information and it has been beneficial to her. In essence, she has created the perception that she is submissive by being respectful towards her husband, which caters to his primal need, and influencing him in a way that he responds to positively. That is how she has gotten the life of her dreams. It goes back to that analogy about the man being the head and the woman being the neck - the direction the head turns is influenced by the neck. You see, it's about knowing how to influence people, which is a powerful skill to have. I think that Janet is a very smart, very powerful woman and her strategy and tactics are not anti-feminism in my view. She knew what she wanted, and she figured out how to get it. She doesn't clean or do washing, which is typically what some people think submission is. In her case submission is a strategy - and it can be applied anywhere, including in employment.
Both Gladys and I are keen to read your views about submission. Do you think it goes against feminism?
xo - Nhlaks