Inspired By Love

3 Principles I’ve Learned from Slay Queens Like Faith Nketsi

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Yes, I’ve learned a few things from the likes of Faith Nketsi, Nicole Nyaba, Nozipho Zulu and other not-so-famous Slay Queens, and no – it’s not how to twerk or pose semi-naked. In South Africa, the term “Slay Queen” generally refers to a pretty, light skinned Black woman who wears expensive luxury brand clothes and accessories, always has a full-face of glamourous make-up, is constantly travelling the world in style, gets paid to appear at clubs and parties, shops in Los Angeles or Dubai, looks up to Kim Kardashian West as a role model, and is perceived to use her sexuality or to perform sexual acts to make money. I mean most of it sounds dreamy, doesn’t it?

From statuses and comments on social media, and conversation, it seems many South Africans have a low disregard for Slay Queens, more especially because they are branded as shallow and disrespected for using their bodies to get paid, some calling them “glorified prostitutes”. I personally do not know if all slay queens have sex with unknown men in return for cash payment, so my views are not based on that. The principles I have learned from them are based on what I know from interacting with the ones I know personally, what I see on their social media and on television, and what I have heard from people that know them personally. Here goes…

3 Principles I’ve Learned from Slay Queens

1.       Look Your Best and You’ll Get the Best

Nicole Nyaba - taken from her Instagram account

Nicole Nyaba - taken from her Instagram account

There’s a reason why the fashion and beauty industries are some of the most lucrative in the world – fashion and beauty are highly valued in our society. Now, of course there are varying degrees or levels to both, and they do have dangerous sides, but the fact remains – looking good is beneficial in our society. Beauty can secure you a job that you may not fully qualify for, beauty can inspire people to offer you food, travel and luxury goods at absolutely zero cost (there really isn’t always a dodgy price to pay), and beauty can drive people to treat you with more respect and even treat you like a celebrity. There are perks to being beautiful, I mean look at beauty pageants.

Slay queens are fashionable and beautiful. They have gorgeous curvy bodies which have become a worldwide phenomenon, the trendiest clothes and accessories, and their makeup skills are at pro-level. There is no way you will see me in a thong bikini or wearing cycling tights as an actual outfit even when I have my dream body, but what I have learned from Slay Queens is how to accentuate my face and body, and it has paid off! I will be honest and tell you that I get the most compliments (online and in real life) and the most views on content when I have lost weight and have made a greater effort with my make-up, hair and dress. I also feel so much more confident, which in itself draws more positive attention. 

“When you look good, you feel good!”


2.       Focus on Your Goals, Not People’s Opinions

Faith Nketsi - taken from her Instagram account.

Faith Nketsi - taken from her Instagram account.

What are Slay Queen goals? “Stack that money fast and go!”

The primary goals Slay Queens have is to make a lot of money and live good lives. But who doesn’t have similar goals? The difference with Slay Queens is that they have figured out how to make money and live luxuriously quicker than the rest of us, and in my opinion, it takes clear focus and guts to do what they do. I mean, Kim Kardashian West’s net worth is almost as high as Beyonce’s, and Queen Bey has been in the entertainment business for much longer. Says something, doesn’t it? Slay Queens don’t care what negative perceptions some people may have about them, because they are driven by their personal goals, not by external opinions, and have sure-proof business strategies.

A misconception about Slay Queens is that they are not smart or educated, and that they waste money on fickle things. Nothing could be less true. These ladies own properties that I’m still dreaming of, build beautiful homes for their families, pay their siblings school fees, pay fees to their photographers and booking managers, pay overheads at high-end malls where they have boutiques, and so on. They are family and business-orientated. I know some who come from really poor backgrounds, and have gotten their families out of poverty. How many of us can say we’ve done the same, yet we also run businesses?


3.       Believe in Yourself and Know Your Worth

Nozipho Zulu - taken from her Instagram account

Nozipho Zulu - taken from her Instagram account

To put yourself out there in the way that Slay Queens do, you must believe that you are worth all the attention, and you are worth getting paid for being present at a party. Your self-confidence must be pretty solid. Albeit, some of these ladies might not have sought after the attention to begin with, but to seize the opportunity and monetize it takes belief in yourself and your beauty. These ladies are products that people pay to observe and fantasize about. They aren’t modelling clothes or presenting music shows, which can be likened to what they do, but still very different from it. Imagine how much self-confidence you need to be able to put yourself on display and have fun doing it! If they were my daughters, I would demand at least a 5% commission for having co-created them!

I am a very confident woman, but I know that my confidence could do with some work in certain situations. Observing the fearlessness of these beautiful ladies has inspired me to dig deeper into my self-limiting thoughts and beliefs and work on rooting them out!

As I’m writing this, my admiration for Slay Queens keeps growing! There are good, core principles to learn from them and apply in a way that is relevant to me and the woman I want to be and to portray myself as. There are many sides to people’s stories and focusing only on what society deems as negative can sometimes conceal valuable lessons we can learn. What perception do you have about Slay Queens? Have you learned valuable lessons from them as well?

 Thanks for reading!